Becoming a mother has been life changing in both extraordinary ways and challenging ways. When I look into my son’s eyes and he takes my hand, nothing else matters. Somehow I feel like I’ve known him my whole life and not just for three weeks. He’s my little miracle and brings an indescribable level of happiness to my life. The other day he had a reflex smile that looked so real it brought tears to my eyes. In that moment I enjoyed every bit of being a mom. It was definitely an extraordinary moment.
Not every part is perfect though, and there are times when nothing will make him stop crying so my answer is to cry myself because of frustration, sleep deprivation and feeling like a failure. I’m also finding it difficult adjusting to the lack of sleep and the constant worry. When I do get time to sleep I’m flinching at every coo that he makes and hoping he’s alright. Sleeping soundly is no longer on the table.
Those times are challenging, along with figuring out our new financial situation, managing a new work life and handling all the details of having a newborn. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when life was easier, but I know deep down I wouldn’t trade the past couple weeks for anything.
As we figure out how to communicate with each other it gets easier. The past few nights he has slept really well instead of the usual 2 hour cry fest, and I’m also starting to figure out what he needs before he needs it. Sometimes he just needs to be held, which I love because we get to bond even more, and I’m looking forward to growing that bond even further as he gets older.
All in all, I feel that everything they say about motherhood is true, which is without a doubt the hardest thing you’ll do but also the most rewarding. I can’t believe he’s all mine, and I get to share my life with him now. There are so many good moments to come, and I’m looking forward to experiencing all of them.
Also, I know that I couldn’t have done any of this without my husband by my side. I give a lot of credit to single moms and moms having newborns with older children. I barely have had time for myself lately and couldn’t imagine splitting that time even further with other children or managing everything on my own. For anyone thinking being a mom is easy, it certainly isn’t. However, we also get to experience the greatest love there is, and we get to feel that love every day. Mom life is definitely the best life.